D:  Stop lifting my skirt,
M:  Doris I want to get laid,
D:  We're older than dirt,
M:  Eighty years to the day...

D:  Let's go to the buffet,
M:  How bout a Christmas lay,
D:  Your not very nice,
M:  Let me hold your tits, they're just like ice...

D:  The nursing home will start to worry,
M:  Doris what's your hurry,
D:  My doctor will be pacing the floor,
M:  Can't hold it back anymore...

D:  You need to get off my back,
M:  Please fondle my sack,
D:  Just one Metamucil more,
M:  Put on lacy depends while I pour...

D:  Be good it's Christmas day,
M:  Back to my place and play,
D:  Don't put a roofy in my drink,
M:  That might work I think...

D:  I wish I knew how,
M:  My sexy cow,
D:  To break this spell,
M:  Take your cane, your legs look how they swell...

D:  I ought to say no, no, no sir,
M:  Move oxygen so I'm closer,
D:  At least I'm honored that you tried,
M:  My hard on I think just died...

Doris:  I really can't stay,
Both:  Ah, but don't hurt my pride.

(Break)

D:  You think you are slick,
M:  Please touch my dick,
D:  Hold on where you pee,
M:  Doris do this for me...

D:  Your a dirty old man,
M:  Put my dick in your hand,
D:  Oh my God really,
M:  Doris please have some pity...

D:  That lump in your pants looks suspicious,
M:  Your dry lips look delicious,
D:  I really need to head for the door,
M:  Let's do it here on the floor...

D:  Why today are you so sexual,
M:  My hard-on is perpetual,
D:  I just don't understand,
M:  May I borrow your hand...

D:  I've got to get home,
M:  Baby I don't want to roam,
D:  Can't do this anymore,
M:  Don't want an old whore,...

D:  This date's been really grand,
M:  Not what I had planned,
D:  But don't you see,
M:  Is your cup size a double D...

D:  Let's stop all this nasty talk,
M:  Hold hands and go for a walk,
D:  I'd like to see you again,
M:  Hot Mama just tell me when...

Both:  Ok it's time...for our noon time nap.