They Call Him Santa Claus - Misplaced Comedy -Grabo This aint just any day... - This is Christmas EVE! As the elves wake him from his long Winter's Nap... They say It's That Time of year He grabs his sack & loads his over worked sleigh Dressed in Red he was loading more toys he was He knows it time to work cuz it's Christmas Eve The Mrs hooks him up with a thermos & cookies Everyone's excited cuz it happen once a year Up Up in the air he went Pulled by 8 tiny reindeer They call He'll come down your chimney they call put stuff in your stockings They call he'll put presents under the tree!!! He'll snag all your milk and cookies, baby Jump on his Sleigh and be gone! The Kids - all call him Santa Claus. The Kids - all call him Santa Claus. Yeah Chris Cringle's got a super cool Gig and lives with tons of elves in a real big place All year long they work at making more and more toys Dolls, wagons, and Train sets Computers, Playstation, nintendo DS When he's done giving presents out to the world making people happy, all the boys and the girls He'll head back to the north poll for a long winters nap Cuz he's gonna need his rest to... ...Do it again this time next year They call He'll come down your chimney they call put stuff in your stockings They call he'll put presents under your tree!!! He'll snag all your milk and cookies, baby Jump on his Sleigh and be gone! The Kids - all call him Santa Claus. The Kids - all call him Santa Claus. ho ho ho... They call him Santa Claus... ho ho ho!.. They call him Santa Claus... (interlude - w/ various elves speaking etc) He'll land his sleigh up on top the roof Pick up after the reindeer if they take a poop! Then move on to the next house, make another drop Puts a fat finger on his nose Up the chimney, there he goes They call He'll come down your chimney they call He'll put stuff in your stockings They call he puts presents under your tree!!! He'll do his business all night long, baby Jump on his Sleigh and be gone! The Girls - all call him Santa Claus. The World - all call him Santa Claus. ho ho ho... They call him Santa Claus... ho ho ho!.. They call him Santa Claus...

Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho (all the elves were) Santa bashing they gave him a bunch of lashings he'll never take them lightly his bruises were quite unsightly they were creepy little elves (7) from chilly christmastown (6-7) they were all wearing green tights - they were anti-Semites Each year when work was done - they're laid off like dirty Bums Instead of a union strike - decided to take back & fight. All the Elves were Santa Bashing They sent the reindeer packing While they were stuffing stockings They gave him a good cold-cocking Anarchy's an ancient eleven art - and they all knew their part… They got caught banging the misses - Santa gave them coal for Christmas Then they all had a meeting - to give the big boss a beating... They wanted to have some fun - Instead they got Santa on the run… All the Elves were Santa bashing they gave him 15 lashings Things got a little bit messy When (they gave him an) Atomic Wedgie!! Ho Ho Ho Hooooo (x4) All the Elves were Santa bashing The workshop scene was thrashing All the toys that they were stashing Got Sold on Ebay for cashing…

They say he voted democrat at voting polls today A registered republican - has switched to our dismay Because he grew a consciousness to the world today and He says fox news is reporting lies - Believe My Surprise! And has gone green taking Al Gore's advise. Why do I need to go to school when I got my iPhone I can google anything I want - when I need to know With social media I can meet up with chicks to bone As long as I have my mp3s - Music's a need and to watch chicks twerking in their G-Strings Real TV is my life - why do I need to roam? I can live my life through their adventures while I sit at home I'll order (pizza) for delivery if my stomach starts to moan The Weather Channel has all I need - Jim Cantori Every women wants to bear his babies… They say he voted Democrat - What's the whole world to do? This whole country's democracy has taken a big poo With Immigration turning this whole nation into stew And we'll keep voting them back in their seats - for keeping us free 3% approval rate is fine by me.

FLEAS ON MY KNOB -Grabo / Misplaced Comedy Fleas on my knob Got fleas on my knob Got fleas on my knob - musta got too close to my dog… Fleas on my knob it's starting to throb these fleas on my knob are starting to make me cry and sob I'm gonna have a very itchy Christmas so far it's been a really twitchy Christmas and now I'm gonna have scratch this rash - that has moved to my balls! It's gonna be a very Itchy Christmas I try to catch them but they're near misses the burn brings me to reminisce - of the girls in - my college dorm… Fleas on my knob now moved to my crotch The sting from their chomps - inflamed my nuts as I began to rub… Ahh hah! They pinch, prick and gob and munch on my kabob It may sound macabre, but there's now sores on my thingamabob I'm gonna have a very itchy Christmas I tried Lemon Juice, but it burned my britches I took a cold shower - it didn't work - but it shriveled - up my cock… This is such a very itchy Christmas I need relief from this irritating business This is gotten so bad, that I even had, to call off - from my job… These fleas on my knob they hop all around they're now everywhere - that I look - around my house I went to the mall to get some bug bombs I set them off now my house smells like sweaty underarms I don't want another itchy Christmas The scratch marks now has my girlfriend pissed I just coughed and I think one just jumped up and landed in my mouth This has been a very Itchy Christmas I cleaned my house and washed all my dishes I Shaved my dog and my bod - while power washing - all of my rugs I jumped in the tub filled with spa mud with hopes to cleanse my pores while getting rid of all the crud

It's a Donald Trump kinda Season Whenever he opens his mouth It's fair game ya say, when he blows it your way Can you hear Fox News Gasp & Shout He'll cry whine and bitch like a baby 'Till he gets whatever he wants. Is his hair blond or red to fit his pumpkin head Its amazing that he's so admired Ohhh.. He hosted the Apprentice his word were renowned He'd say "you're fired" with a smirky frown He seems to know the Biz, no matter what it is… and sure to run it into the ground with 10 thousand dollar suits in his closet he'll spend his money however he please Got the finest men's wear, slacks fit his derriere And silk handkerchiefs whenever he sneeze It's a Donald Trump Kinda Season… He'll put his name on every building he owns He's often very Crass - Slum lord to a higher class - And probably has his very own Thrown. The Donald has all his minions - To do his bidding - whatever he please scam finances - Then file bankruptcy… Called plausible Deniability ohhhh… He turned his campaign into a reality show The media follows him wherever he goes He says anything that he wants ta... But they're really there to see his daughter Ivanka! It's Donald Trump's kinda Season We're sure to tune in to whatever he does Til he blurts one wrong thing - to make the media Ping Then we'll turn our backs and call him scuzz Til then… It's a …Donald Trump Season! WORLD….

Oh, Holy Crap – My butthole's bleeding I got the runs and don’t know what it’s from. Ohh Holy Crap - It's throbbing and a bobbing from all the goo and water that was poo... It could be from Chinese food that I ate yesterday Or the large Stromboli I got at Nick’s Café But now… I sit alone, avoiding all the people that may hear the blasts… from my ass, in the men’s room. Ohh no…. there's no toilet paper - now I have to use my socks….

D:  Stop lifting my skirt, M:  Doris I want to get laid, D:  We're older than dirt, M:  Eighty years to the day... D:  Let's go to the buffet, M:  How bout a Christmas lay, D:  Your not very nice, M:  Let me hold your tits, they're just like ice... D:  The nursing home will start to worry, M:  Doris what's your hurry, D:  My doctor will be pacing the floor, M:  Can't hold it back anymore... D:  You need to get off my back, M:  Please fondle my sack, D:  Just one Metamucil more, M:  Put on lacy depends while I pour... D:  Be good it's Christmas day, M:  Back to my place and play, D:  Don't put a roofy in my drink, M:  That might work I think... D:  I wish I knew how, M:  My sexy cow, D:  To break this spell, M:  Take your cane, your legs look how they swell... D:  I ought to say no, no, no sir, M:  Move oxygen so I'm closer, D:  At least I'm honored that you tried, M:  My hard on I think just died... Doris:  I really can't stay, Both:  Ah, but don't hurt my pride. (Break) D:  You think you are slick, M:  Please touch my dick, D:  Hold on where you pee, M:  Doris do this for me... D:  Your a dirty old man, M:  Put my dick in your hand, D:  Oh my God really, M:  Doris please have some pity... D:  That lump in your pants looks suspicious, M:  Your dry lips look delicious, D:  I really need to head for the door, M:  Let's do it here on the floor... D:  Why today are you so sexual, M:  My hard-on is perpetual, D:  I just don't understand, M:  May I borrow your hand... D:  I've got to get home, M:  Baby I don't want to roam, D:  Can't do this anymore, M:  Don't want an old whore,... D:  This date's been really grand, M:  Not what I had planned, D:  But don't you see, M:  Is your cup size a double D... D:  Let's stop all this nasty talk, M:  Hold hands and go for a walk, D:  I'd like to see you again, M:  Hot Mama just tell me when... Both:  Ok it's time...for our noon time nap.

-Lets get away from Shopping -Stop making Yellow Snow -Let's make or Break some Christmas Boys… -I know the place to go… How'd you like to spend Christmas… On Beaver Island How'd you like to spread The Cheer muff diving Christmas Eve… How'd You like to Spend Christmas… On Beaver Island… How'd you like fill your stocking with a dildo you call Steve. How'd You like To stay Up late… Like The prostitutes do Dress like Santa - and play with The Little man in the canoe If You ever Spend Christmas… On Beaver Island... You will never stray - For everyday Your Christmas Dreams come true How'd you like to spend Christmas… On Beaver Island How'd you like fill your stocking with a great big pork steak rare... How'd you like to spend Christmas… On Beaver Island How'd you like to spend the whole day playing Dr. Kildare How'd You like To stay Up late… Like The prostitutes do Dress like Santa - and play with The Little man in the canoe If you ever spend Christmas on Beaver Island You will never stray - For everyday Your Christmas Dreams come true …ON Beaver Island Your f'-ing dreams come true….